solitude

from almost / never by mary grave

	/

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lyrics

i could have been much different than i am
on nights like these i tend to think about all the cards that i’ve been handed

could have been the girl my parents planned
but who i’ve grown my bones into is a woman i would rather be with

really shouldn’t have lived past thirteen
but broken souls + hospitals, they kept me breathing

really shouldn’t have grown up to be who i am
but resilience has always been the word inside me

//

i could run off + find myself a man
but i would rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t get it

there’s still nights when i can’t understand
why there is no one here to hold my tired, weary, shaking hand

i know it comes when you’re looking the least
but i am never looking cause i don’t think anyone would want me

i know love can surprise the way i think
but my stubborn mind has made me lose so many things

//

i clip my broken nails into the sink
the mirror shows an image of the woman that i am becoming

she’s someone that i am proud to be
she’s someone that i would want my daughter + past selves to see

she’s outgrown the mold she thought she’d need
she’s lived through the things she said she’d never want to live to see

i’m stronger than i’d like to be at times
but it’s not in vain as long as i’m alive

credits

from almost / never, released November 15, 2019

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mary grave Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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